America's Next Top Mom

So my one guilty pleasure (ok not the only one but the only one i have time for) is watching Top Model every single Wednesday night. This show is my superbowl and frankly I am not ashamed to admit my addiction. Nonetheless a woman was recently sent home on the show and during her teary eyed goodbye she said that she felt like she failed her daughter by getting sent home so early in the competition. This of course struck a nerve because I know exactly how she feels. From the time that I found out I was pregnant I felt that every accomplishment that I made was for my son. Every job I applied for every grade I earned I did so with his picture in my mind. Motherhood has a funny way of making you feel like a failure even in the midst of success because you feel like nothing you ever do will be enough for this tiny person that you are responsible for. I think this fact is both beautiful and absolutely terrifying because where do we draw the line of self deprecation and remember that we're just humans, despite the cape we wear and the dragons we slay there will come a time for all of us when there is something we cannot do. I of course refute this fact on a daily basis and slave night and day to make myself the superhero that i hope my little one thinks that i am some day. My mom is still my superhero and though growing older has allowed me to see her "human side" i still run to her for salvation because everyone knows that mommies can do absolutely anything. Right? I mean sure I havent lifted any cars lately. And the last time I checked I couldnt fly. In fact I still turn on the lights to watch a scary movie and run through a dark parking lot to get to my car. But dammit I make a mean blueberry pancake and cna single handedly make mac n cheese, type a paper, run the vacuum, wipe a nose and change a dirty diaper in five minutes flat...with one hand tied behind my back...uphill both ways...in the snow. SO THERE!