The Dating Game

Last night I went on the first date i've been on since my son was born. I. Was. Terrified. after going so long just being a mom, a student, or a teacher, last night was my chance to be a woman. Nothing else, a dainty, girly, glossy, flirty woman. Yet as i sat in the parking lot of the restaurant trying my best not to hyperventilate i could not for the life of me remember how to do that. I have spent so long forgetting the "glam" side of me and embracing the sweatpants wearing, cookie baking, crayon smelling person i'd become that i all but lost the dive i used to be. BUT. i think i found her. slowly but surely i have been taking little steps to reclaim my "non-mom" side. trying to fit in pedicures and hair apponitments and taking an extra 3 minutes in the shower to enjoy the little bit of quiet...taking out the legos and cars that usually litter the bottom of the tub. having a glass of wine after bedtime. even grocery shopping alone has made me remember what its like to be a human being. and i'm actually ok with that. for a while i felt guilty about missing the old me, like i was somehow betraying my child by remembering life before he was here. but i see now that its ok to want some of the tidbits of the old me and blend them with the mom me. now, who's treating me to a pedicure!?